Finding Joy Amidst Suffering (with Skateboarding Pro Josh Harmony)

You're listening to Thinking Christian, clear theology for a confusing world. This is a new podcast that we hope will be a daily discussion on what we are putting in our brains before we start talking from a knee-jerk Christian reaction. This program is designed for listeners to think and act so we don't just understand concepts, but ultimately experience God and the plans and the patterns of life. All right. Hey, welcome, everybody, to Thinking Christian. This is our new podcast, and we are here with Joshua Harmony. Josh is a friend of Nate, and so we've got Nate on the side there as well. And we're just going to be talking to Josh about life, where he grew up, and then some of his passions that he's had the opportunity to do over the years. And so we're not going to belabor the point. We're just going to dive right in. Josh, how are you doing? I'm great. Thank you. Thanks for having me on. Yeah, absolutely. It's great to have you here. Give us a little bit, just tell us a little bit about how you grew up, you know, maybe a little bit of how you found Christ, you know, when you accepted Christ, a little bit of your testimony, and then we'll dive into some of the other topics. Sure, yeah. So I spent most of my adult life as a professional skateboarder and a musician. But when I was born, I was born in Cincinnati, Ohio. My dad worked for a plastics moldings company, and so he moved us around all over the place. Until I was six years old, we moved to Southern California. So I was raised in Altaloma, California, which is sort of near where Rancho Cucamonga is, like sort of in that area near the foothill mountains. And the first time I heard about Jesus was through my parents. When I was six years old, my dad told me about the gospel and, you know, shared to me about Jesus and how he died for our sins. And, you know, I just saw the love of the Lord in my parents and in my family that I just was totally open to Jesus as a little kid. And then when I was about 11, I started skateboarding and surfing. And yeah, started skating really hard, took skating very seriously. And then when I was almost 14 years old, just about 14 years old, my parents moved to the Chicagoland area to Naperville, Illinois. And we lived there for three years. And then we moved back to Southern California when I was 17. So when I was 17 and moved back to California, at the time, there was a pro skater and his name was Austin Stevens. And he rode for my favorite skateboard company called Toy Machine Skateboards. And he had an interview in Thrasher Magazine. And in the interview, he talked about his faith and he talked about his faith in Jesus. And they kind of like razzed him a little bit and like were kind of drilling him on some hard questions. And, you know, he it wasn't like anything in depth or anything crazy like that. But I just remember closing the magazine and praying like, God, if you open the door for me that I could be a pro skateboarder and, you know, someday ride for a board brand like Toy Machine, then I would talk about you. I would, you know, I would share about you in Thrasher. And I remember the Lord specifically saying, I'm going to do that for you and I'm going to open that door. And I remember feeling so empowered and I knew all these skate spots and stuff because I used to live there before we moved to Chicago. So I went to all these spots. And for people that don't skateboard, like we skated the streets, you know, basically create tricks to do on the streets and get photos and get video of it and create little video parts or little zines or whatever. And if you're big time, then like you're getting shot by like, you know, magazine photographers or whatever. So I go out with my buddy with our video camera and we go film all these spots and I sent it into Toy Machine skateboards. And my I sent it in as like a sponsor me video. And then Ed Templeton, the owner of Toy Machine, called me while I was at school and my mom answered the phone and talked to Ed for like an hour. And I got home and my mom told me, hey, Ed Templeton called and, you know, he wants to talk to you on the phone. And I could not believe it. I didn't believe it was true. And it was pretty mind blowing. And so he was like, I called him and it was really him. And and he was like, yeah, man, I love your part. Like, I'm going to send you some skateboards and and stuff. And I just I, you know, I want to get to know you. Like, let's let's go skate. And I just could not believe it was real. And he sent me this box and it had like something like six to eight boards in it, all these wheels and T-shirts and stuff. And I used to like mow lawns and stuff and work really hard just to get like a board. And I had like a stack of them, you know. And so that was just like a dream come true. And so, yeah, I called him back and I was like, oh, my gosh, I can't believe you sent me this many skateboards. Like, this is like a dream. Like, I can't believe this is real. And like he remembered he and he told me later, he was like, dude, no one ever calls to say thank you. And like you actually called and said thank you. I was just like so excited. Like it wasn't like trying to earn his favor. Yeah. But like, I guess I really made a mark on him. And then so I went and hung out with him and he printed out this like sheet of of photographers that that he wanted me to go skate with, like, go try to get photos with these guys and try to get into the magazines of these guys. And at the top of it said get gnarly and it had like all these different guys' phone numbers. So I was just calling people from Thrasher magazine, like, hey, what's up? Like, want to try to get some photos and whatever. And so I just started skating really hard. And then eventually my photos started getting put in the magazines. And there I was like with the toy machine board and stuff and people like, oh, who's this new guy and whatever. And then eventually got put on the team and started traveling the world. And and the Lord did, in fact, open that door. And I did, in fact, speak about Jesus in Thrasher magazine many a time. And and yeah, it's just it's just crazy looking back at it and just how God opened that door for me. And I'm just super grateful. It had to be awesome to see it come full circle because when you did join the team, Austin was still part of Toy, wasn't he? He was, yeah. And then you got to travel with him and like see what God had told you come to fruition. That has to feel amazing. Yeah, it was. It was pretty amazing. Yeah. And Austin isn't walking with the Lord anymore, but I pray for him. And his mom is a super serious believer. So I do think he is going to come back around one of these days. And yeah, so love that guy. That's so incredible because Ed Templeton doesn't walk with the Lord either. And but at the same time, when you first got on, I remember that I kind of remember roughly the time period. And I just thought, man, like Josh is like a mini version of Templeton because he does art and photography. And he was into a lot of the same stuff you were. So it's really cool to see God kind of send you down that path because a lot of people just go straight into ministry. But you kind of took the ministry to the industry and was a light in a very dark culture, which is just incredible. I love that. Yeah. And so I should preface, too, that I I mean, I've been through some different seasons in my faith for sure. And when I first got sponsored, I was just like super serious about God and like super like straight up about it. Then I moved out of my parents house, got an apartment. I was like just about to graduate high school, just graduating high school, got an apartment with my buddies. And there came like the drinking and the weed and all that stuff. And and I remember there was one night I I was at a party and, you know, I would still like I would I would party, but I'd still read my Bible and like still like there was a part of me as a skater. I've always like questioned everything. Like I've always sort of had. I don't know, just like. Like, you know, when you have exposure to certain like types of thinking, you sort of you have to sort of counter, you think the counterwise. So I would always think like, oh, well, like weed isn't really in the Bible. So like, what does God think about that? Do you know what I mean? Or whatever. So you have all these like things you're exploring as a as a kid and like trying to trying to figure out what what is the truth amidst all the information that you're getting. Right. And I was at this party one night and they were passing around the weed and I took a hit of it and I didn't know it at the time, but there was coke. It was laced with cocaine and I was 19 with this when this happened. And it just totally rocked me. Like I, I started like shaking and I

I got to the, I got back to my apartment and I remember just feeling like a darkness, you know, and trying to read the Bible. I remember like opening the Bible and I couldn't read it. I could not understand it. Like as if I was blinded or like confused or something. It was like I couldn't, like things that I knew I should understand, like John 3, like I'm reading through it, but I can't, it's like not working or something. And it was like the longest night of my life. And I felt like, I felt like I was being made fun of or like I was being, I don't know how to explain it, but it just seemed like something was like pointing at me and laughing at me. And when I was a kid, I used to have this dream that was like a somewhat reoccurring dream where like this demon came up next to my bed in like a fiery, like he would appear in fire and he would just point his finger and laugh at me. And I remember feeling like that was happening, but in real life. And so the next morning I got up super early and drove out to my parents' house. I was living in Long Beach and my parents were still in Alta Loma and they had a pool in their backyard. And I went out there and I said to my dad, like, Hey dad, like I've been smoking weed. I've taken mushrooms and like I'm trying all this stuff and like I know like God probably isn't into it and I just feel so far away from God. And I let myself kind of get wrapped up into this stuff. And he was like, well, you know, Jesus will forgive you, you know, you just, you just ask him for forgiveness and he will. And as I just told him like I have like so many times, you know, in the past 24 hours and I don't feel right or the past like 15 hours or whatever it was from that point. And I still don't feel right. And I was like, baptize me in the pool in the backyard. Like that'll fix it. So he baptized me in the pool in the backyard. And then I went back into my room, what was my room and I got dressed and I just got on my knees and I just said, Jesus, like, please forgive me. Like, I'm so sorry. Like I just, I felt, I felt so ashamed and I felt like I knew better and I knew that he was disappointed and that that nothing that I was doing in skateboarding or anything would mean anything if I ended up going to hell or if I end up separated from God. Like what could, you know, like for what does it profit a man if he gained the whole world and yet lose his soul? And I just said, like, I'll give up skating if you want me to, like, I'll do whatever you want me to do. Like, I don't know what, you know, like, I just need your help. Like, please forgive me. And I just remember the presence of the Lord so strongly filled that place and he said, I love you and I forgive you. I love you and I forgive you. And after that, I still was going on tour and sharing my faith and it was really challenging at times, sometimes, not sometimes, but a lot of times people would turn on just the most blasphemous comedy routine things, just making fun of Christians and, you know, people would, people would make up things about me that I say that I believed crazy things and this and that and, you know, because I was pretty outspoken about my faith and everything. So, kind of went on that journey and lived that for about 13 years. My professional career was like about 13 to 15 years long of like traveling and there was lots of like skate ministry and music ministry stuff in the midst of that where I met Nate along the way as well. And yeah, and then after, I can keep going or if you wanna stop. No, keep going. Yeah, I got a few questions, but you keep going. This is great. Cool. Yeah, okay, so I, so after, so I got a call a few years back around 2015, 2016 that Toy Machine couldn't pay me anymore. And so I had to find a job in order to save our mortgage and try to figure out like my new path, you know, it's like a career change. It's like one of the, one of the biggest things. And side note, I had like before this, I had gone through this crazy injury that damaged my hip and then I got this hip resurfacing, which is basically like a hip replacement. And like for not being able to skate for like a year and a half during that period, then getting that and then having another like few years of my career after I had that, which was amazing, but that's a whole another sidebar and my faith getting challenged. And that was sort of the thing that the catalyst that got me writing and recording music was that pain and that, that waiting time. But then when my, my board sponsor Toy Machine called me and said they couldn't pay me anymore. I, I couldn't find a job anywhere out here in California, but I did find one in Minnesota and my wife's family lives in Minnesota. So I moved to Minnesota and took a job in marketing for a textile company. And I lived there for three years and just felt like a tree that had all of its branches completely cut off and I was completely isolated and started feeling, you know, I, I really was just like, okay, God, like I know you're gonna do something with my life. Like we're gonna, you know, it's gonna be fine. Like it's all gonna work out, but there I was in a cubicle in the middle of winter leaving for work before dark, coming home after dark, day after day, just depressed from being used and by God and being courageous and having an amazing lifestyle and, and everything to being just transitioned to something I was completely not used to, you know, joining marketing meetings with a tie and just doing this. I can't even picture that. It's crazy. But just doing it for my family and trying to provide, trying to be a good dad and just stepping up and, and doing the best that I could. And, but during that, during that time, so I should, I should probably back up because I, about a year before I had that, that call from Toy Machine, I had this crazy dream. Well, first I had a, first I had, I went to this, I went to this church service and a pastor told me, Josh, I see a question mark over your head. And I remember being like, what? Like, dude, no way. Like I've got it all figured out. Like I'm Jesus driving my God. This was in California before we moved. This was in California. Okay. This was before you moved. Okay. This was like a year or two before I moved to California. Gotcha. And then I had this dream. I had this dream that was like a God dream and I've had a few of them where it's like, it's like I'm there. It's like, it's not like a regular dream where you wake up and you're like, oh, that was, that was weird. It was like a, it was like I was in person. And so I'm like, I'm walking in this desolate area and it's like, I can't see far away. I can only see what's right in front of me and I'm walking and it's really difficult. And I look down and it's like sand. And, you know, when, when you're walking in sand, it's like, it's, it's hard. And I remember like looking around and I could see my family and they're like, this is hard, dad. Like this is hard. And I remember thinking like, man, this has got to get better. And then, and then I realized that there's this, this like child on my shoulders. And I see my two sons and I'm like, who's this new person that's on my shoulders? And so I'm like, man, this is tough. And we're like walking along in the sand. It feels like a really long time. And then all of a sudden these, these plywood boards go on top of the sand and we like start walking on them and it gets easier. And we're like, wow, this is like, this is like getting easier. Like this is awesome. And, and then these people are like inviting us into their house, but it's only temporary. And they're like, okay, we'll see you later. And then I end up in this place where like all these like beautiful plants are like coming up out of the ground and there's like showers and we're just like, oh, it's so much better. Like this is so much better. So anyway, I didn't know what that meant. I woke up and I was like, what the heck was that? Like, and I told my wife, I was like, I had this dream and I think it was prophetic, but I don't know what the heck it means. And so anyway, I just forgot about it. Just put it on the shelf. And So then fast forward, you know, I'm living in, I'm living in Minnesota with like no friends and no, like, you know, when you isolate a coal, its fire starts to die. And my fire was starting to die. Even though we were going to church, but we were just kind of going to like a big church, going in, kind of coming out. No real fellowship, no real Bible study, no real discipleship. And I just started doubting. I just started questioning, like, why, like, why, like what is the point? You know, like, where are you at, God? Like, like, we did all that cool stuff together and then

Sort of atheistic. Yeah. You know, old ones too, like Epictetus and old, and started to feel like that was, it was just for some reason, it was speaking to me and I, I don't know why. And I, I honestly, looking back, I think I was just like, I was just so desperate for God to be there, but He wasn't there. No matter how hard I dug in, I just felt like He was just gone. Like He had just abandoned me or something. And, and then I also, right before I moved to Minnesota, I was doing some ministry with some like sex trafficking, fighting sex trafficking stuff. So like helping raise funds for, you know, fighting sex trafficking and whatnot. And some of the things I was exposed to, I'd never really realized, you know what I mean? There were, there was some evil in the world that I had never gotten a glimpse of. And I think that some of my inability to understand, um, my inability to understand why, it's the classic problem of evil stuff, you know? Yeah. It's like, it's a, it's a hard, it's a hard pill to swallow when you don't have the resources or you don't have the Holy Spirit that gives you the peace that passes understanding. It's like I was just in this like perfect storm of like being isolated and not being encouraged or like discipled through doubt. And like that isolation was there, but then at the same time, there was like, there was like new things that I didn't, that I didn't realize that I hadn't processed before. So, you know, I started really struggling like with, you know, why would God make me if He just knows I'm gonna suffer? You know, like what is love actually? You know, like what, like all these things started sort of weighing down on me. And then combined with that, I started playing music. I met some, some folks I was playing music with. And one of my buddies I played music with was like really into like some occult type stuff. And so, you know, being around that and being told your, your horoscope and all these things. I didn't realize it at the time, but she would say things to me that were so accurate. And I would say, wow, that's so true. And I didn't realize that at that time, I was sort of stepping outside of God's boundaries of, of like His protection and stepping into like the occult kingdom of darkness. And like anybody that's watching this, I would just say like, if you're around Ouija boards, tarot cards, any of that stuff, don't, don't mess with it. Because the second that you touch that stuff, the second you get your palm read or you start dabbling in horoscopes, you're giving authority to the enemy to attack you. And that's exactly what happened to me. I, I started hanging around, you know, people that were into that kind of stuff. And I believe that I became demonically oppressed at that time in my life. And, and so I was suffering just severe depression, just really just over it, you know? And raising, you know, two kids. And then we had, when we lived in Minnesota, we had another kid. Like, it's like, man, things are hard, but let's throw on another kid. I was just gonna say, moving from California to Minnesota can kind of do that to you anyway, don't you know? Yeah. Big families out there. And, you know, you just kind of fill the void with, with that kind of stuff. And so do you feel like, I mean, I mean, I know you talked about a little bit, you know, when you were skating, like that the community wasn't necessarily supportive, didn't sound like they were necessarily supportive like that skate community that you were with. But it seems like you really had a sense of purpose and you were, you were very much comfortable despite some antagonism sort of serving God in that moment. Then as you pivot over to Minnesota, you've really lost something that was very important to you. The, that not just the skateboarding necessarily, but the job, the community, the security, the, you know, almost the passion for, you know, having an outlet for serving God. I mean, is that, am I putting words in your mouth or is that, you know, sort of the general experience? And then as you, you know, you lose that passion, you lose that sense of purpose and almost identity, right? God then has to sort of step in and, and almost remake you. You know, like as we transition from, I've, I've had that experience myself. I, you know, I left an 11 year career in higher education to go work at D.L. Moody Center, nonprofit organization. And it was very strange. Didn't help, you know, I went from working with a lot of people on a campus and students and all that kind of stuff. I worked from home. And so I was completely isolated other than Zoom meetings or maybe a phone call occasionally, you know? And it was just very difficult to sort of recalibrate and, and to stay faithful in that because it was a completely different world for me. I didn't know where I was going, what I was doing. The career path got a lot less sure. The professional life got a lot less sure. You know, my personal life got actually better, but then, you know, I don't know that I would say that I really was spiritually flourishing during that time. It was just tough. So, I mean, I, I, I can kind of resonate with what you're saying, but don't let me put words in your mouth. Is that sort of kind of summarize where you're at now as you move into Minnesota and you're, you're having these difficulties with the occult and, and those kinds of issues? A hundred percent. Yeah. I mean, it's, it's the isolation. It's, it's the not being, it's, it's, it's the sort of, it's like you're taken out of, like, we're not supposed to be just hearers, but doers of the word, right? And I'm a firm believer in the doing. I feel like every time that I am dry and then I have like a divine appointment, it just re, it just reinvigorates your spirit, you know? But when you're isolated and you're just in Zoom calls and you're not like, it's like with your students that you administer to or you'd have these conversations and intellectual conversations and you would, you know, you'd come back and like, yes, like this is what it's about. Like, it's just like, it fills you with purpose and, and to have that purpose taken away sort of can leave you in a place where you're feeling dry. You feel like, what's the point? You feel like, where, you know, where is this going? You know, does, especially like I was just kind of having some idea or identity sort of crisis. It's like a, it's like an identity crisis, like an existential crisis and like a faith crisis, like happening like simultaneously where you're just like bouncing back and forth through all these just intellectual difficulties and, you know what I mean? It's like that piece of God isn't resting on you and you're not, you don't have a peace, you know? Yeah. And so I ended up like realizing that I cannot keep, I, at the job that I had, there was this guy, his name is Robert and he would like, he was just so odd and he would come in and like just speak evil things to me. Like you're, you're a loser and like all this stuff. And it was like, he was almost like trying to get me to like get him fired or something. Like he was miserable and he just wanted to get fired so he could get his like, his whatever, a check for a few months and find something new or whatever. But anyway, so I quit, I quit my job and I was like told my family, like we gotta, we gotta move back to California. We had bought a house out there. It made a little bit of money. So I was like, let's, let's sell it and we can move back to California and I can find my way. I'll find another, I'll find another job. Cause at the time that was just the only thing that I could think of that it's like, get back to the community, get back to skateboarding. Like I need to get back to like surfing and skating and like the things that I know. And I know it's going to be hard, but like, this is really hard. Like, I don't know anyone here. Like, I don't know, like I don't, I just felt like it was just a dead end. And it was almost like I was moving there out of fear as well. Like, I feel like God did open the door, but it's weird because there was an aspect that like, I feel like if I had waited in California that God might've done something. Well, not to leave a cliffhanger, that, that was Josh Harmony and with, with Dr. James Spencer. And I want to make sure that you, you tune in tomorrow because we are going to continue that conversation. My name is Richard Beatty and I am the producer of this program, Thinking Christian. And I want to just take a second to thank the team at Life Audio for their partnership with us on this podcast. If you go to lifeaudio.com, you will find dozens of other faith-centered podcasts in their network. They've got shows about prayer, Bible study, parenting, and more. We'll see you tomorrow. If you're tired of parenting advice and news headlines that are more confusing than assembling IKEA furniture, we've got just the podcast for you. My dear friend Abby and I are here to help you navigate the parenting rollercoaster. Should your kids be on social media? What should you tell