Ministering to Christian Men with Brian Doyle

Christians need to stop listening to the world and start listening to God so that thinking Christian becomes as natural as breathing. Welcome to the Thinking Christian podcast. This is Dr. James Spencer. Through calm, thoughtful theological conversations, Thinking Christian offers a mix of interviews and discussions that highlight the ways God is working in the lives of his people and question the underlying social, cultural, and political assumptions that keep the church from conforming more closely to the image of Christ. Now, on to today's episode of Thinking Christian. Hey, everyone, this is Dr. James Spencer, and you're listening to Thinking Christian. On today's episode, we have a guest host, Maggie Hubbard. Maggie works with me at Useful to God and was my co-host on our previous podcast, Faithful and Flawed. Some time ago, Maggie had the opportunity to interview Brian Doyle, founder of Iron Sharpens Iron. They talk about men's ministry and the way Iron Sharpens Iron seeks to engage and develop Christian men. I hope you enjoy the conversation and look forward to being back with you on the next episode of Thinking Christian. Hi, listeners. Thank you for joining me today. I have my friend, Brian Doyle, with Iron Sharpens Iron. I'm really excited to have him on today to tell you guys a little bit more about what it is. And Brian is actually the founder of Iron Sharpens Iron. It is a network of grassroots men's ministries across the nation that equip the churches in their region to engage and develop men. And so I just feel like this is such an important organization to highlight because men of faith are much needed right now. Tell us a little bit more about how this got started and what you guys are doing today. Great. Well, thank you very much, Maggie. Well, here's how it gets started. Probably not that different from a lot of our listeners today. There came a point in time where as a New Englander growing up in Connecticut with some dirt roots, but not biblical roots. You know, a family that went to church, but we really didn't know the gospel. I encountered some men and women at the University of Connecticut and around the university that were living as Christ followers. They got my attention and they invited me to be part of what they're doing in Bible study. And very quickly, I realized that they were in it. I was not in it. And I yielded my life to the Lordship of Christ. And then what immediately happened, I had men who were a little bit older than me, certainly older than me and Christian maturity, who began to spend time with me, really invest time with me, not to spend time with me, help me learn how to pray, how to study the Bible, how to yield to the Lordship of Christ, how to be a follower, how to reproduce my life and share with other people, how to be a minister and not just a participant. It was a wonderful time. And I continued that. Navigators ministry was a blessing to me. I ended up working alongside the navigators in the collegiate and military ministry. As the years went on, got married to a wonderful godly woman. Then there were some opportunities that Navigators provided to me, both at Gordon Conwell with the seminary there and with the ministry called Promise Keepers. This was in the nineties where just like you said, there's a need for men. Well, there was, there's always a need for men. There's always a need for godly men to rise up, keep their promises, execute the calling that God has on their life, step into their role no matter how counter-cultural it may be, and to be leaders and influencers in their family. And so I worked for Promise Keepers as a New England area manager in the nineties for about five or six years. Promise Keepers had its day and then they kind of went away. And then I had to make a decision. Do I go into church work? Do I go back into industry, which I was in, while do I go work for the Navigators or do I stick with this ministry that's designed to disciple and equip men? And I just was very clear that that's what I need to do. So that's when we began and we did it under the umbrella of Vision New England there in the early years from 2000 to about 2005. We started something called Vision New England Men's Ministries. And then out of that came the Iron Sharpens Iron one-day conference. We had no idea this was going to be a big deal. We just felt like we needed to have a time and a place where we could equip men in the unique roles that God has given them because at church, you know, you're often talking to people as parents. You're not talking to men as fathers. We're talking to couples and spouses. We're not talking to men about being a husband. What does that look like and how do you execute that role? So those niche areas that men are being called by God to step into often in church life, they weren't being addressed. So that was the impetus back in 2001 for doing our first Iron Sharpens Iron one-day conference. We did one at Grace Chapel in Lexington. We did one down at Valley Community Baptist in Avon, Connecticut. And as the years have gone on, now we have over 600,000 men that have attended a men's conference. And this started right here, just in a little New England ministry with one person and a half time assistant. So God can do things here in New England that are beyond what we could imagine. And that's certainly what he's done with Iron Sharpens Iron. That's an amazing story. And I think it's just a great reminder that if God lays something on your heart to listen to it and to really seek what he wants you to do with it. So you said over 600,000 men. So that's amazing. So how can a man or somebody that's interested in this, how could they get involved with Iron Sharpens Iron? Well, certainly our heart is to see men engage in their church life, get equipped, and then take what they're learning and execute it in their families so they can certainly go to Iron Sharpens Iron, the website. We have conferences, you know, maybe much of our constituency might be in the Northeast, certainly all over the Northeast and much of the Midwest and Southeast. So they just go to the website. What's it going to find are opportunities to attend the conference, but even more than attend the conference, you'll see resources and people like me that they can call and chat just like we're chatting and learn about how in their own local church, they can step into having a thriving ministry to men. Let me ask you a serious question. If something triggered a major market drop in the coming months, would your retirement be ready or exposed? With inflation, market volatility, and ongoing global uncertainty, more families are taking a closer look at whether their retirement plan is truly built to hold up. And many are finding that adding a layer of protection makes a lot of sense. Sanctuary Metals is a Christian-owned company that helps families strengthen their retirement savings with physical gold and silver through a gold IRA. During uncertain times, many people look to precious metals as a way to add stability when other assets may be under pressure. If you'd like to explore whether a gold IRA is a good fit for your situation, Sanctuary Metals makes it easy to get started. Text GUIDE to 94878 to receive your free retirement defense guide or call 888-958-6579 to speak with one of their knowledgeable team members. Again, text GUIDE to 94878 or call 888-958-6579. And through men, what we're committed to is helping the local church to do its job. We're a parachurch ministry. We come alongside the local church, but we really want the church to do its job to disciple men. We call it building men with others in mind. So when you build a godly men, you're helping not only that man walk with God, but by virtue of doing that, you're impacting all the people that he influences. And so a lot of our ministry starts with a man in his home. It starts with if he's married, the most important relationship he has is with his wife. So we want to see that man have a thriving Christ-centered marriage. If he's got kids, we want him to understand that it's his responsibility along with his wife to disciple his children. Yes, the church is there to help, but you cannot give this away to the church. Not any church, not the world-class children's ministry or world-class youth ministry. No church is up to the task because it's simply just not God's design. The church is there to help and to complement what's going on primarily in the home. So that's a big part of what we're doing. We exhort men, we encourage men, we equip men, and we resource men. I could not agree more when you say, like, look, the church is there to support, right? Like it's the man's job and a woman's job to disciple your children and bring them up. And so that's just, that's a great reminder. And especially for myself and my husband, as we have a two-year-old and a three-month-old. Such a great reminder. And so I just, I love what you're doing just based on our culture today and what we're seeing. I just feel like, I'm just gonna say it, a lot of men, like, aren't really stepping up. What do you think the problem is? Like, do you think it's cultural or maybe they're just looking at church differently? Or what do you think, what do you think the issue is that we're facing? Well, but I would agree with you, first of all, that the majority of men, the vast majority of men, are stepping up. There's multiple reasons for this, but here's a primary one. Here's you and your husband in a sweet season of life with a two-year-old and a three-month-old. And if you're not careful, what

at work, we pay people to do things for us. I call it a general contractor culture where we have people mow our lawn, we have people change the oil in our car, we have people do our plumbing, we have people, you know, do all the things for us. We're responsible for it. We write the check. We pay for it, but we find professionals to do it for us. There's very few men out there, very few, who go to local churches who feel like they could actually be the spiritual leader in the home, that they could actually disciple their own children. They look at the local church. They look at the staffing and some of the key volunteers who can play guitar, who know their Bible verses, went to Bible college, and they say, yeah, that's not really me. So they get their kids connected. They cheer them on and they hope and pray that it all works out. And it is not working out because it is not the design of God. So should we have church ministry for children? Should we have church ministry for youth? Yes, my kids have always been involved in that, but at no time did I ever think that that was going to be enough for my children to walk with God. I knew, and I just tell you, Maggie, it started when our kids were two years old and three months old when we would start to read the Bible around the table. We choose to do it at breakfast time. We would open up the Bible while the little ones were having their oatmeal or cereal and banana or whatever it was, and we would just simply read the Bible. I didn't teach the Bible. I would read the Bible. Obviously, when they're little ones, I would read, you know, story Bibles and we'd talk about it. The kids would listen. As they got older, they might get their own Bible. As they get older, they might have a journal or something to write down a few notes in. But we did it at the table. We did it with Deuteronomy 6, 4 to 7 in mind. We talked about the Bible and God's Word at home when we would sit, when we'd walk along the way, when we would rise up, when we would lie down. And my wife and I did it. Now, did I do much of it? Yes, I did because I felt like that was my role as a husband and father was to lead that out, not because I was a Bible guy. In fact, I've intentionally modeled this in such a way that any man, including anyone listening to this podcast today, any man that has a Bible and knows how to read, he can do the same thing that I did. Just simply pick a story, pick David and Goliath, pick a story, start with the Gospels, read a little Psalm, read some Proverbs, and just sit and allow your kids to hear the Word of God around the table in your home. That's a great starting point for any man. Yeah, I love that. That's such a great reminder because I feel like you can get so distracted in the day to day, you know, like you wake up and you go, go, go, or if you got to get to work or you got to change diapers and all this stuff. And it's like, I think that's just a great reminder for parents make a plan, start your day out with God's word, even if it's 10 minutes, right? Like it's going to make an impact. And I tell you what, Maggie, my kids were two years old and three months old at some point, and then we had a few more. And now they're 18, 20, 22, 24, 26. They're walking with God. The one who's married is my first grandchild. Their world is... Let me ask you a serious question. If something triggered a major market drop in the coming months, would your retirement be ready or exposed? With inflation, market volatility, and ongoing global uncertainty, more families are taking a closer look at whether their retirement plan is truly built to hold up. And many are finding that adding a layer of protection makes a lot of sense. Sanctuary Metals is a Christian-owned company that helps families strengthen their retirement savings with physical gold and silver through a gold IRA. During uncertain times, many people look to precious metals as a way to add stability when other assets may be under pressure. If you'd like to explore whether a gold IRA is a good fit for your situation, Sanctuary Metals makes it easy to get started. Text GUIDE to 94878 to receive your free retirement defense guide or call 888-958-6579 to speak with one of their knowledgeable team members. Again, text GUIDE to 94878 or call 888-958-6579. The same world that they grew up in, where around the breakfast table, we began the day with the word of God. Did we do other stuff? Yes. But I would just say that that Bible time around the breakfast table was absolutely foundational to my kids walking with God into their young adulthood. Wow, that's powerful. And that's such a great reminder because of the season of life I'm in and I know a lot of my friends who also listen to this are in the same season. And so I'm just so glad that being able to hear you speak it, you know, you've lived it. You've watched your children flourish and walk with God. And so it's really encouraging to hear the impact that you saw it make and it's continuing to make. And so I think that's a great lesson and reminder for the younger, younger generation like myself with kids to be intentional about our time and just really be a good example for our kids, especially dads and men, you know, stepping up and being the leader in the home. And let's say there's a church in the area that I'm in in Kansas city and they're interested in kind of coming alongside you and maybe having a conference. Is that something that they can do or do you primarily kind of stay in that New England area? No, we've had an iron sharpens iron in Kansas city and Lee's summit in different places. And so they just come, just go to the website, check us out. We have speakers right there in Kansas city. We can put something together. If it's not a full iron sharpens iron conference, it could certainly be seminars and different half day things that we're offering. The iron sharpens iron isn't the deal. The deal is to help local churches to engage and equip men. So Lord, I pray that wherever someone's listening to Maggie and I today, that they would step into their role, especially the men, that they would by faith courageously start something of reading their Bible at home, praying with their children, praying with their wives, and that the home would be a place where men are investing in their primary relationship. Help us to do things with your design in mind to embrace it and to follow through on it. Please hear our prayer now in Jesus name. Amen. Amen. Oh my goodness. Wow. I thank you so much for taking the time to chat with me today and just share what you're doing and their website. If you want to go visit it, it's iron sharpened iron.net. So check them out, see how you can get involved. And man, if you're listening, this is for you. It's time to invest in this, invest in your family and really step up to be the leader that God has called you to be and wants you to be. I want to take just a second to thank the team at Life Audio for their partnership with us on the Thinking Christian podcast. Through calm, thoughtful theological conversations, Thinking Christian offers a mix of interviews and discussions that highlight the ways God is working in the lives of his people and question the underlying social, cultural, and political assumptions that keep the church from conforming more closely to the image of Christ. Hi friend, are you stressed, maybe even worried about so many needs around you that you've forgotten you are worth taking care of too? Well, I'm Bonnie Gray, the host of Breathe, the stressless podcast. I want to invite you to join me as I share practical tips based on science, inspired by God's word to help you spark joy and restore God's peace and love to your soul. Subscribe now and go to lifeaudio.com.